A Christmas Story

Seasons greetings from the American Pharmaceutical industry. In his season of giving, they are delivering an extra-special holiday gift for you!

Actually, it’s not a NEW gift, technically. It’s really just an old product that is being repackages in a new, larger form. I guess it’s kinda like they are re-gifting us (insert Seinfeld reference here). But, boy oh boy, it is just sooooo damn exciting, who cares?!



Four separate drug companies have announced that they are seeking to release a new pill containing the highly addictive painkiller hydrocodone,. This is the stuff inside popular poppers like Vicodin . But the ALL NEW AND IMPROVED versions will contain up to 10 times the the amount of hydrocodone as existing medications such as Vicodin. Four companies have begun patient testing, and one company — Zogenix - is planning to apply early next year to begin marketing its super-charged pill which they call Zohydro.

What makes this superpill especially noteworthy is that it will be the first time anyone can legally buy pure, unadulterated hydrocodone.
Physicians are extremely excited about this new pill – one in particular comes to mind.



Namby-pamby worrywarts are fearful that this new pill will be abused by patients. But hey, just because the new pill happens to contain ten times more of the second most abused prescription drug in the US doesn’t necessarily mean that people will abuse it. After all, just because I buy my laundry detergent at Costco in boxes that are ten times size of a regular box that you buy at the supermarket doesn’t mean that I do more laundry. (OK – that’s a bad analogy. But, rest assured, the Spin Doctors are hard at work as you read this. They will soon be able to justify this pill in a dozen different ways).

April Rovero, president of the National Coalition Against Prescription Drug Abuse. Complains ""I have a big concern that this could be the next OxyContin”.



Poo-poo on you, April. You say that like it’s a bad thing, In 2008, Big Pharm sold 2.5 Billion dollars of the stuff in the US alone. From the viewpoint of Big Pharm, being the next Oxycontin is a VERY GOOD THING.

It’s really just a matter of perspective. After all, isn’t addiction just an extreme form of brand loyalty? To paraphrase Milo Milobender “"What's good for Big Pharm, is good for the country".

My biggest fear is that the FDA will drag their collective feet on this new horse pill. You know, like the way that they do with non-addictive pain killers like Medical Marijuana. Hey FDA – the economy needs a big boost. There are billions to be made here. So what if we have to deal with a few million more Americans with a monkey on their backs? Monkeys are cute – aren’t they?



So, I say, Godspeed, Big Pharm. Santa (or is it Sandoz?) Claus is on his way with a new bag of goodies for us all. Get out of the way, FDA. Let’s rush these exciting new drugs to market as quickly as we can. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?”





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