Thursday, March 28, 2013

Here Come da Judge


Our great nation is at a crossroads.  The Supreme Court, the pinnacle of our legal system, is deciding the fate of Gay Marriage for the country.  This is a momentous point in our Nation’s history.  Will our most elite jurists be able to preserve the sanctity of marriage?

Like many Americans, I am all for preserving the sanctity of marriage.  If Gay Marriage will somehow hurt that sanctity, then I guess I am against it.

Of course, the opposite is true as well.  Quite frankly, I am yet to be convinced how matching genitalia has any effect on the sanctity of marriage.  I know lots of gay couples.  If they were to get married, I can’t conceive how it would have any effect on the sanctity of my own marriage.  I’d just be happy.  Call it Schadenfreude.

However, we need to protect the sanctity of marriage at all costs.  Therefore, I propose that we, as a nation, take immediate action against two known threats to the marriage contract.  To wit, I propose that we pass a law saying that, if you are divorced, you cannot hold public office.  In fact, let’s just make divorce a felony.   Any person who destroys the sanctity of marriage by getting a divorce shouldn't be allowed to vote.

In addition, let’s attack that other great threat to the sanctity of marriage – infidelity.  Infidelity is such an affront to the sanctity of marriage that I think it should be a capital offense.  If you are caught cheating on your spouse, you should be put to death.  In fact, the Bible talks about this quite a bit, so there should be little resistance to this law from the religious right, who like to quote from the Bible when discussing how gay marriage is an affront against God.

Truth be told, the Bible has LOTS to say about infidelity and divorce.  I was going to quote from the Bible here to prove my point, but there were just too many citations to fit.   So, if you are so inclined, please visit this link to see how the Bible is really, really against infidelity and divorce:


Kind of makes homosexuality look like an also-ran in the eyes of God, n’est pas?

If this law were to pass (and I hope it does so we can truly protect the sanctity of marriage), I have a great idea for a growth business – being a stone salesman in Washington!  Baseball season is upon us, I’m getting the ‘ol pitching arm limbered up, and I just can’t wait to throw a few fastballs (er…fastrocks?) at the sinners who cheat on and divorce their spouses.

The sad thing about the Gay Marriage debate is that it is taking the Supreme Court’s attention away from the other great issue they are discussing – one that truly has an effect on the daily lives (and wallets) of most Americans.  In fact, I’d bet that most of us are unaware that this is even on the Court’s Docket. 
I am referring to the ‘Pay to Delay’ scandal.

What’s ‘Pay-to-Delay’ you might ask?  Simply put, this is where Big Pharmaceutical companies are paying millions of dollars to manufacturers of generic medications NOT to make their off-patent drugs.   This is an interesting case, because both sides (Big Pharm and the Generic manufacturers) are all for it.  The generic manufacturers are being paid millions every year for literally doing nothing, and Big Pharm can continue to sell their drugs for top dollar.  In a marketplace where a ‘name brand’ pill might cost  $900 for a three month supply, it would be almost impossible to compete with the generic equivalent that costs $10 for the same number of doses.

When you consider the millions of Americans who use prescription pills, the economics of ‘Pay to Delay’ make perfect sense for both parties. In fact, the only people getting screwed here are – you guessed it – the American consumer. 


‘Pay to Delay’ has been going on for many years.  In fact, Big Pharm has successfully had it upheld in lower courts for many years.  Finally, due in no small part to the efforts of the FTC, the issue is finally where it needs to be – in front of the US Supreme Court.  Hopefully, they will be able to see this practice for what it really is – illegal collusion – and put an end to this practice once and for all.


Unfortunately,  we’ll all have to continue paying untold millions of extra dollars evrey month  for off-patent name brand meds until after they decide whether two people with matching genitalia can call themselves ‘married’.



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