Sister Mary Elephant

Did you ever hear ‘Sister Mary Elephant’? This is a classic Cheech and Chong routine about a soft-spoken nun who would be worked into such a lather by her misbehaving class that she would have to bellow ‘Shut Up!’ at the top of her lungs to restore order in her classroom. If you’ve never heard it (or if you want to stroll down memory lane) here’s a link for you to enjoy:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IhG__-Ql8_I

(Ignore the stupid video – it was the only copy I could find on youtube)

As the victim of a Catholic education, I am here to testify that I have experienced LOTS of Sister Mary Elephants in my lifetime – frail little nuns with voices that could be raised to a decibel level louder then a 747 on takeoff.

Back in my formative years, political correctness was unheard of. Corporal punishment for misbehaving children was no big deal. My right ear is still slightly deformed where it was grabbed and twisted by a nun way back in 2nd grade (thanks a lot, Sister Mary Jane!). So understand that screaming at a class and telling them to ‘shut up’ was no big deal. In fact, it was the norm. Ditto on referring to a child as ‘stupid’ or even ‘retarded’. One of the few things that I remember from High School French class is how to say ‘Shut Up’ en francais.

Fast forward to fall 2010. I find myself nostalgic for a real-life Sister Mary Elephant to make my life better.

I’m not talking about silencing misbehaving youngsters – I want her to address our politicians who continue to beat the same dead horse.

Here’s the deal. We get it. You’ve successfully drilled it into our brains. Obama is a communist who is mortgaging our future. Bush’s economic policies have failed. Pelosi is ugly and a socialist. Palin is an idiot with a retarded child to match.

We get it. Move on.

Instead of spending millions of dollars on TV commercials kicking each other in the butt, how about trying a new tactic this campaign season? Here’s a fresh idea – why not tell us what you are going to do to fix this mess and, if elected, actually do it? Like Nero’s fiddle, the current crop of political commercials are an affront to my sensibilities. Wise up, Washington (and Trenton, and Harrisburg….) – our economy is in the toilet, and our health care system is going down in flames. You politicians were elected to make certain that this kind of thing never happened, and, if it did, fix it. You’re all not doing that. Instead of addressing these issues in an unbiased, positive matter, you spend your time attacking one another like a group of bickering fifth graders. And it looks like the only way to puy and end to this whole matter is to have a real life Sister Mary Elephant address our elected ‘leaders’, i.e.”

Congress……Congress…..CONRESS….SHUT UP!

Thank You.


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