Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Lazy Days




Yeah, I know. I haven’t posted to my blog lately. It’s a real shame, too. My blog just had it’s 20,000th visitor, and I still keep getting a lot of traffic in spite of my lack of new content.

It’s really not my fault – the lack of posting is due to a newly diagnosed medical condition. It seems I suffer from something called ‘Chronic Laziness Disorder’, or CLD. You say you never heard of CLD? Don’t worry – as soon as Big Pharm comes up with a drug for it, you’ll be seeing commercials for it on ‘The Price is Right’. Rumor has it that Pfizer is partnering with Starbucks and developing a cup of Joe that has twice the caffeine that a normal cup of their ‘over the counter’ coffee has. It will be available only by prescription and cost $25.00 a cup. Leave it to the American Pharmaceutical industry to make a cup of Starbucks even more expensive.



Pfizer is also planning to release a caffeine-enhanced prescription Frapuccino for the summer months that has twice the caffeine and sugar as the regualr stuff. In fact, it will have so much sugar in a cup that it will send many people into a diabetic coma. This is seen by Pfizer as a great cross-market for it’s line of diabetes medicine and glucose meters. Too bad that the prescription Frapuccino will be so expensive that most prescription plans will label it a ‘tier one’ drug with a ludicrously high co-pay. Fortunately, Duncan Donuts will soon offer it’s own prescription ‘Coolata’ at a much lower cost, so your med carriers formulary will allow you to get this drink for only a$20 copay so long as your MB (or Medical Barista) didn’t check off the ‘no substitution’ box on your prescription.

Until these new drugs for my CLD are released, I will have to suffer (and nap) in silence.

Although prescription coffee may sound ludicrous, the idea really isn't that far-fetched. After all, Big Pharm has been offering ‘Prescription Strength’ versions of over-the-counter meds like aspirin, tylenol, and various antacids for years now. And we’ve been blindly paying outrageous fees for them for years, instead of buying the over-the-counter versions at Wal-Mart and doubling up on the dose.

My Podiatrist recently gave me a prescription for Athlete’s Foot cream that sells for close to $300 a tube. Now, my Athlete’s Foot isn’t that bad – in fact, I didn’t even know I had it. (When I was in High School, I never had the makings of a Varsity Athlete - at least that’s what my Uncle Junior used to say).
So why don’t I just buy a $2.00 tube of over-the-counter cream at Wal-Mart? Good question. Luckily, my prescription came with a special copay card that allows me to pay a zero copay for the cream. This way, I can get ‘the good stuff’, and not have to worry about the price – until I’m hit with my new health insurance premiums next year. Like most Americans, I’ll probably follow the advice of ‘The Yardbirds’ and “Live for Today”. In fact, I think that this just might be the next Classic Rock song that’s used in a television commercial – Merck – I’m looking in your direction.


In case you were wondering, this whole diatribe was provoked by a link my buddy PG posted on his Facebook page. What first struck me as funny seemed less farfetched the nore that I watched it.

I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.



Now, let me get back to my nap.....




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