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What's going on? I ask you
What's going on? Can you see?
What's going on? I ask you and
Who's coming on? Is it you or me?
-----Fast Buck Freddie, Jefferson Starship
Okay, so what was Fred’s scam?
I soon got another fake email from PayPal that made everything crystal clear….
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FROM: “PayPal”
TO: Me
Dear Rick Albano,
We are very sorry for the delay of your money, Your account show that you received a total amount of $600USD, We want you to know that there is a mistake about the payment sent to you our accounting department made the mistake, We sent you $900USD instead of $600USD, we would like you to refund back the $300USD via Western Union before we can credit your Bank Account. Below is the address where the money will be sent to.We are trying to settle this issue and this is due to the general network and also we are meant to protect both buyer and seller online transaction, please bear with us, Kindly go to WESTERN UNION OFFICE (BANK) and send the money to the buyer given address and as soon as we received the information from you, We will credit your account immediately today because your money is ready to be credited into your account.
Note:You Are To Use The Information Below To Send Out The Money.
DEVRET CLARKE
No 740 Midland Avenue,
Apartment 210, Scarvorough,
ON M1K 4E1,
Canada
Security Question: Ref No?
Security answer: 1990
Send the western Union Control Number And Scan us the receipt given to you.
Kindly go to any Western Union Office,(Bank) and send the money today, and as soon as the money is sent to the buyer, We would credit the total amount of $900USD to your Bank Account immediately today by 3.00 PM.
Thanks for using PayPal and understanding.
PayPal Teams.
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Wow, what a diabolical scam. And so believable!
After all, my computer transposes “6’s” with “9’s” all of the time (don’t you hate it when that happens?)
Plus, instead of going through the difficulty of correcting the error on their rnd, it just makes sense for me to wire Fred the difference, doesn’t it?
I also thought it magnanimous of PayPal to insist that I use their competitor, Western Union, to correct their mistake!
I decided to see how “PayPal” would explain all of this, so I sent a reply to “PayPal” and cc’ed Fred on it….
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FROM: Me
TO: “PayPal”
No problem - we all make mistakes. Why don't you just fix your mistake and put the correct amount ($600) into my account? There is no reason to get Western Union involved.
Rick Albano
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Fred immediately replied….
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FROM: Fred Willson
TO: Me
what do you mean,
i don't seems to understand you, they also make me know about the
mistake which i they insist on you paying the money so what do you
think is the way out,because i want you to get the money and the only
means is for you paying the money......
Do get back to me Asap....
Thanks....
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Damn you, Fred. It’s one thing for you to try to steal $300 from me, but your constant butchering of the English language has to stop!
Then it dawned on me – perhaps poor Fred was having trouble understanding me because I used proper English, I decided, right then and there that I would start communicating with him using the same dictum that he used with me….
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FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
what do I mean,
I don't seems why they insist on me paying the money so i can get the money.
Why come they don't just fix it?
Thanks Fred
----------------------------------------
Remarkably, my butchering of the English language really did help me connect with Fred, as evidenced by the email he sent me in reply….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Fred Willson
TO: Me
Hello,
i really understand what you mean,But they are doing this to protect
both the seller and the buyer,i am also worries about it,I don't want
you to loose your money what i can suggest is for you to find a means
of paying the money so that they wont delay your payment,so that they
can credit your account immediately....I know you must be fed up but
am assuring you that as soon as you make the payment you money will be
credited immediately...I still believe you have trust in me ...
do get back to Asap...
Thanks....
----------------------------------------
YES! Fred understands me! Time for me to give him a little reassurance……
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
OK fine I trust you. So here is what you should do. You should contact Paypal and tell them to cancel the 900 pay and then remake a pay of 600 dollars so it is a clean deal. This should be the fast way of clearing this up. If you cannot do this then I will have to send the money order.
Do I send it to you or yours sisters? I should thinks I shoulds sends it to you since you paid me not your sister - it was a gift for her you paid for, right?
lets me know asap
Rick
----------------------------------------
Poor Fred really gave it the old college try with “PayPal”, but apparently they weren’t listening, as he reported in his reply to me….
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FROM: Fred Willson
TO: Me
Hello,
thanks for the mail,i have also contacted them on what to do,they
can only accept western union or money gram since it is online
transaction,that is the only means we can get the money.
And for the canceling of the money i want you to now that the 900USD
as been deducted from my account and to remind you again, is an online
transaction the only means is to pay the 300USD and your money will be
credited instantly...
I want you to know that it is because of you am still online because
i want to make sure you get your money,i dont want situation whereby
one of us will loose...
My grandmother is sick i have to go and check on her,but first i want
us to solve this out..
Do get back to me as soon as possible...
Thanks...
----------------------------------------
God Bless you, Fred. I don’t want one of us to loose, either. Time to up the ante and let him smell the blood in the water….You know, make him think that he has won….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
OK I wants to solve this too. Who do I send the money to?
I hope your grandmother ceases her sickness with quickness.
Rick
----------------------------------------
Fred started to salivate over that $300.00. It’s probably a years salary in his country…
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
Thanks for the mail,
In that case you can send the money to me, i think that will be
better...this is my detail below::
NAME..FRED WILLSON
ADDRESS:Number 210 Belsize Park
Apartment 23
United KIngdom
And as soon as you send the money let me know..
Thanks for understanding me and also grateful for my grandmothers compliment..
I believes we will get to know each other better...
Do get back to me..
Thanks...
Fred.....
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I believes, Freddie, that the only place we would get to know each other better is on a witness stand.
Ole Fred must be a famous man in the UK – he doesn’t even need to include his city in his address. Hell, even a letter to Santa needs to be addressed to the North Pole! I am glad he liked his grandmother’s compliment, too.
Important as he must be, it was time for me to turn the table……
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
OK I send the money now.
I do not live near Western Union and I am far away from the closest office. I know you need the money electronically so I thought I would send it to you by PayPal as well.
I used your email
fredwillson5@gmail.com
to send the money to on PayPal. You should hear from them very soon. Please let me know when you get it so I can know when I might receive my payment in return.
Rick
----------------------------------------
Tee, hee, hee – how was Freddie going to handle this little twist, I wondered. I soon found out…..
----------------------------------------
TO: Me
Hello Rick,
I can see that you don't seem to understand or maybe you are
thinking other wise if that is the case,then you can pay to the
address they gave you.I only want asist that is why am doing all this
but it seems you don't want to understand.so you can go ahead and send
the money to the address they gave you,by the method they requested
for if that is the way you want it...
Anything apart from that i don't seems to understand anymore..You
should try and understand.
Am getting tired....
----------------------------------------
Oh, rest assured Freddie – I understand PERFECTLY. That’s the problem. Sorry to hear that “Am getting tired”. Perhaps they’ll cover pronouns in your next ESL class…
Soon Freddie had second thoughts about being so terse with me. He soon sent me this follow up “mail” ….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Fred Willson
TO: Me
Try to understand me...
Am sorry for sounding tough,just try to do something so that we can
at the end laugh to each other.I believe we will still get to know
each other better...I don't have much time to wait
Do get back to Asap...
-----------------------------
Poor Freddie – I forgot to butcher English
like he does and he was having trouble understanding me.
So, I sent him this reply (dig MY run on sentence!)
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
I have contacted PayPal and I asked them why I cannot pay the $300 refund to you with PayPal? After all, the payment that you made to me was with PayPal, and PayPal network made the error and paid me the $900, so this would seem to me to be the bestest way to fix this. As I said, I do not access a Moneies Order of Western Union, so I cannot pay you that way, and I want to pay you, so that we can fix this and I can get my monies and you can get your refund and all of this can get behind us and you can tend to your poor sickly grandmother.
I have emailed PayPal and I awaiting there kindest replies. It is up to PayPal now - I am waiting for them and I will mail you when they mail me the response as to how this matter can be absolved.
Rick
------------------------------
Of course, I didn’t REALLY contact PayPal (or “PayPal”, but Freddie didn’t know that. So, within minutes, I got the following “response” from “PayPal”
----------------------------------------
FROM: “PayPal”
TO: Me
Dear Rick Albano,
We are very sorry for the delay of your money, Your account show that you received a total amount of $600USD, We want you to know that there is a mistake about the payment sent to you our accounting department made the mistake, We sent you $900USD instead of $600USD, we would like you to refund back the $300USD via Western Union before we can credit your Bank Account. Below is the address where the money will be sent to.We are trying to settle this issue and this is due to the general network and also we are meant to protect both buyer and seller online transaction, please bear with us, Kindly go to WESTERN UNION OFFICE (BANK) and send the money to the buyer given address and as soon as we received the information from you, We will credit your account immediately today because your money is ready to be credited into your account.
Note:You Are To Use The Information Below To Send Out The Money.
DEVRET CLARKE
No 740 Midland Avenue,
Apartment 210, Scarvorough,
ON M1K 4E1,
Canada
Security Question: Ref No?
Security answer: 1990
Send the western Union Control Number And Scan us the receipt given to you.
Kindly go to any Western Union Office,(Bank) and send the money today, and as soon as the money is sent to the buyer, We would credit the total amount of $900USD to your Bank Account immediately today by 3.00 PM.
Thanks for using PayPal and understanding.
PayPal Teams
----------------------------------------
This whole bad English thing must be contagious – now even “PayPal” is using it! So I wrote back to “PayPal” in my best Nigerian-English….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: “PayPal”
Dearest PayPal:
I wish to pay the $300 monies but I have no acess to the monies of Western Union and I would like to pay the $300 error monies to you using PayPal. My friend has a sickly grandmother who is ill and needs to settle this.
I await your kindliest responses.
Rick
----------------------------------------
I didn’t have to wait too long…..
----------------------------------------
FROM: “PayPal”
TO: Me
Dear Rick Albano,
As we already inform you earlier on that you money is ready,all we are waiting for is to see the western union or money Gram confirmation that you have made the payment of $300USD so that we can credit your account with $900USD instantly.Your buyer has tried alot so as to get your money paid.We are waiting for the confirmation from you.The earlier will be better.
Send the western Union Control Number And Scan us the receipt given to you.
Kindly go to any Western Union Office,(Bank) and send the money today, and as soon as the money is sent to the buyer, We would credit the total amount of $900USD to your Bank Account immediately.
Thanks for using PayPal and understanding.
PayPal Teams.
----------------------------------------
Again with the scanner! I had to set “PayPal” straight……
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: “PayPal”
Dearest PayPal:
Alas, I do not have a scanner, and I do not have a western union or money gram center near me.
You say 'Thank you for using PayPal" but you will not le me pay you using your own service! This is poor business!
Anyway, I need to end this and get my monies. Can I just send a US POST OFFICE MONEY ORDER instead?
Please let me know ASAP as my poor friend Fred Willson is very upset over this matter.
Rick
----------------------------------------
Soon, Freddie chimed in with his own 2 cents on the matter….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Fred Willson
TO: Me
What is going on now,i don't seems to understand you any longer...
----------------------------------------
Nobody seems to understand me! I feel like a teenager!
I decided to keep Freddie in the loop with this email….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
OK, i understand. I have contacted PayPal. I told them I cannot use Western Union, and I asked if I could use a US POSTAL SERVICE MONEY ORDER. instead. I hope that I can, because this is easier for me to obtain. I hope they say yes and if it pleases them, I can send it out TODAY.
As soon as I hear from PAYPAL, I will mail you.
Rick
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I never expected THIS Response – Freddie was a resourceful little bugger!
----------------------------------------
FROM: Fred Willson
TO: Me
Hello rick,
I think i am also get tired of all this hear is the solution which i
think can be best for you..i have tried to locate a western union
outlet near your area,what you need to do is to go there and send the
money as soon as possible..
Am doing this in order to help you am sick and tired, i also explain
to you that my grandmother is sick don't you want to consider that..
After this i will not bring any suggestion again and will be
traveling to stay with my grandmother which i wont have any access to
internet.I believe we can sort thing out now this is the western union
outlet site around you can log on to it and find the one that is very
close to you and send the money i will be waiting:
http://local.westernunion.com/locator/SearchAction.do?today=4&searchCustom__country=USA&searchCustom__searchBy=address&street1=&city=medford&stateProvince=NJ&postalCode=&searchCustom__agentName=&searchCustom__city=&mapAndList=listOnly&searchCustom__numResults=10
Do get back to me immediately...
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Well, it’s been fun Freddie, but the house lights are flashing, and I think it’s time to end this little adventure with some fireworks. After sending this email, I swear I could hear Freddie soil his loin cloth half way around the world!
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
GOOD NEWS !
I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR US ALL !
I am hoping your sister will be available tomorrow for a special visitor!
My good friend and neighbor, Josie Wales, I have found out is going to Canada tomorrow on business where he will be staying in Toronto, a short ways from your sisters house. He has agreed to meet your sister tomorrow evening and pay her $300 cash.
Please do not be concerned for your sister - Josie is a very trustworthy man. He works for America's FBI, and he is a very important man there. Your sister will be very safe!
Now, please go and visit your sick grandmother - I think all is well now!
Rick
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Funny thing – I never heard from Freddie again after this. However, I couldn’t resist one good parting shot ….
----------------------------------------
FROM: Me
TO: Fred Willson
Did you talk to your sister? Is it OK for Josie to stop by and give her the $300 tomorrow evening? I hope it is OK. If it is not OK then we have a problem as I need to get paid. If I am not paid by tomorrow evening, I have instructed Josie to retrieve my item from your sister.
If she does not have the item, Josie says this is THEFT and he will bring his associate from the Royal Mounted Police and arrest her for theft.
I do not want this to happen, so I hope you can make 100% sure that PayPal releases the $900 to me ASAP.
Do get back to me....
Rick
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“Do get back to me....” But he never did.
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