Healthcare Hullabaloo: Logan’s Run

Misery loves company. That’s why I was so happy to see a news story last week about a Delaware County (Pennsylvania) grandmother who had to enlist the intervention of a local news reporter, ‘3 on your side’ in order to get a $600 dental claim paid by her insurance carrier. You can read all about it here”

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2010/12/09/health-dental-dispute/

After my recent battles with my own carrier, I felt kind of relieved to learn that I wasn’t alone in this boat. But then, as I re-read the article, I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to be associated with 75 year old Marie Ettorre. Apparently, this old biddy doesn’t like to play by the rules.

According to her insurance carrier, United Concordia, Ms. Ettorre’s claim issue could have been resolved amicably if only she followed her carrier’s appeal process. Instead, frustrated by her carrier’s inaction, she went and blabbed to some nosey newshound, who then proceeded to slander the carrier’s good name all over the local news. For shame! I can envision the poor CEO of Concordia complaining “….and we would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

It occurs to me that senior citizens can be a real pain in the ass. After all, what gives them a right to break the rules of a mighty insurance company? Besides, it is a well established fact that seniors use a disproportionate share of our health insurance dollars. Perhaps we would be well served to consider the consider the approach depicted in the classic Sci-Fi novel/movie ‘Logan’s Run’ . To wit, maybe everyone should have a crystal implanted into the palm of their hands. When that crystal changes color, long before owner reaches that persnickety age, they would be forced to turn themselves in for that long dirt nap.

Actually, this is a great idea on many levels. I know that the government is concerned about how they are going to fund Medicare and Social Security in the upcoming years. The “Logan’s Run” approach would solve those problems as well. Since the majority of money that we spend on health care is spent during the last year of our life, this would allow us to nip that problem in the bud as well. The end result would be annual savings in the hundred of billions of dollars. The current 2010 Medicare budget is now 326 billion dollars. Add to that another 667 billion in savings in Social Security. That’s almost a Trillion dollars in savings annually. It could prove to be just the boost that our economy needs.

Oh sure, there would be some downside to my plan. South Florida and Phoenix would become empty wastelands. . Restaurants would lose their profitable 4:00 PM dinner seating. No one would be there to greet you at your local Walmart. But the tradeoff would be well worthwhile.

Unlike many ‘band-aid- solutions proposed for solving the national health care crisis, this solution could very well prove to be the last one we’ll ever need,,,, a final solution, if you will.

Of course, there would have to be some exceptions to this legislation. Members of Congress, as well as their families, would be exempt. After all, we all know that they can’t be expected to abide by the same restrictions as the proletariat when it comes to health care. Along this same line of thinking, my family, friends, and, of course. Yours truly, would also be exempt – after all, it was my idea.

U realize that this may sound like an extreme approach to solving the health care reform issue, but drastic times do call for drastic measures. We can’t afford to continue to allow disgruntled senior citizens to drag the good name of our health insurance carriers through the mud now, can we?

(Sarcasm Alert: That previous blog was entirely sarcastic – from start to finish. Other than Ms. Ettorre’s story, I didn’t really mean a word of it. I said all of those nasty thing to illustrate a point. However, as my wife pointed out, some people don’t actually ‘get’ sarcasm and might be offended by such remarks. What a shame. Sarcasm is such an effective tool. Perhaps people who were born without the sarcasm gene should be forced to vacation in New Jersey until their sarcasm neural pathways are established)

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