Larry the Cable Guy

I don’t know about your neck of the woods, but around here, the biggest battle being fought is between the phone company and the local cable provider. Both are very interested in who gets to connect your home to the internet.

The cable company started the battle about 10 years ago when they started offering high speed internet access via their existing coax network. This was soon followed by their introduction of VOIP telephone service. The phone company fought back with their introduction of their fiber-to-the–home network, which also offered television service. What started out as a border skirmish is now an all-out war. You cannot turn on the TV or the radio around here without having to endure a piece of propaganda from one company or the other attacking the competition.

Both sides use a lot of spin doctoring in order to get (or hold onto) your monthly service fee. One of the latest salvos happened when the cable company renamed their network with a neat, high-tech sounding name. I don’t know if it’s helping their business any, but it certainly helped them shed their stodgy image as a mere pay-TV provider. Well done!

It occurs to me that the American consumer would benefit from some similarly creative rebranding of our patent-expired medications, which, up to now, have been burdened with the unappealing label ‘generic drugs’.

Yech. Who wants generic anything? Here in the good ‘Ole USA, we have been brainwashed from an early age into believing that name brand items are ALWAYS better then brandless ones. Anything labeled ‘generic’ is always a second rate product, suitable for use only by welfare recipients, the destitute, and foreigners (sic). When it comes to our medications, this negative stereotype has been promoted and prolonged by the pharmaceutical companies, and who can blame them? When their profitable patents expire, rather then inventing a brand new drug to treat another condition, it is easier and more profitable to ‘re-invent’ an old one. By changing the formulation ever-so-slightly, they can re-patent the old drug, give it a snappy new name, and promote the hell out of it. They can now market the new formulation until its’ patent expires, and continue reaping in windfall profits (until that patent expires, when they can just repeat the process all over again). Meanwhile, the older formulation, its’ patent rights expired, is relegated to the inglorious dustbin of ‘generic drugs’.

The American consumer is unaware that the ‘generic’ formulation is often just as effective as the new ‘name brand’ version that they see advertised on TV twelve times a day. The ‘Generic’ version is looked upon with disdain, kind of like that ribbon candy your Grandma tried to give you instead of the Snickers bar that you really wanted. Yech.

However, when you really think about it, shouldn’t ‘generic drugs’ be considered ‘Tried and True’ drugs? After all, we know that they work, and they often work extremely well. Unlike the new formulations, the side effects of these ‘Tried and True’ drugs are well documented and understood. After all, they have been in widespread use for 20 or 25 years before their patent expired. Many have been providing effective results for 50 years – or even longer. Unlike the new name brand formulation, you’ll never be surprised when you grow a third eye on the back of your head, or by some other funky long-term side effect that no one at the pharmaceutical company ever saw coming. In actuality, if we were to consider all of the facts (i.e. cost, track record, and effectiveness), most of us would prefer and probably demand the ‘Tried and True’ formulations in most instances.

All that really stands in the way of this happening is the moldy old negative label ‘generic drugs’. Perhaps we can start the revolution if we start using a more positive name for these ‘Tried and True’ formulations. How about ‘Classic Formula Drugs’? Or perhaps ‘Free Market Drugs’? How about ‘Patent-Free Drugs’? Or maybe we can just stick to the ‘Tried and True’ label?

Actually, my wife has come up with the perfect name for them – she says we should call them “Green Drugs”. Not only is ‘Green’ the adjective du jour for all types of products these days, this name also reminds everyone of the environmental impact that these drugs will have on our wallets.

So, OK, starting today, let’s all start calling them “Green Drugs”, and insert this new positive name into the American lexicon. Let’s leave the awful term ‘generic’ where it belongs….in the discount aisle of your local supermarket.




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